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Journey of a lifetime
"I stopped flying seven years back, I thought that my Fear of Flying cannot be cured. But, my life has changed for good within the last twelve hours – I am back to flying. A big big thanks to you for taking me back to the mesmerising world of aviation". These were the parting words of our course participant after successfully attending the Fear of Flying program at Cockpit Vista in Bengaluru (India)
"As his family member, our lives have changed too – we are super happy" reads the thankyou note from his wife who was also part of the private course for her husband's fear and anxiety with flying. She decided to document the events and narrate the pleasant experience for the benefit of those who are in a situation similar to her family.
My husband stopped flying seven years back after a traumatic flight in year 2015. The domestic flight between Bengaluru (India) to Mumbai (India) during the monsoon was turbulent all through, but not a severe one. Somehow, multiple fears, led by fear of turbulence crept in and he was helpless. Earlier, he was a jetsetter moving between continents, studied in USA and travelled 30 countries, needless to say that he was in a management position. He is very passionate about aviation, he has a huge collection of scaled models of aeroplane, yet he dreads flying now. I can't believe that one such incident can so drastically change the course of his life (and that of our family too).
Shaken by the trauma, he left the rewarding job and sat at home for over six months - depressed. The family was in turmoil. After going through treatment for depression, he settled with a job that needed only short distance domestic travel – which he managed on trains. Meanwhile he did try shots at help from Psychiatrist and multiple psychologist and counsellors, but they were not effective in case of flight phobia. He gave up hopes after none of them worked to help him gather courage to attempt a flight. He thought he had tried all available options, and concluded that there was no effective treatment for Fear of Flying.
Life turned hopeless for me and my daughter who is turning teenager – the family hit a road end as regards our personal, social and leisure travel. My husband was a person of higher caliber, he had to settle for much lesser – he was at the lowest of his self esteem. He saw life as seven years of despair and many more hopeless decades ahead. Worried for him, I started searching for solutions to help him get over his flight anxiety. I contacted Cockpit Vista (www.cockpitvista.com) in Bengaluru (India) to learn that my husband has not yet tried hands on the most effective option of treatment – a day long program of Exposure Therapy on an aircraft Simulator offered by Wing Commander K Dinesh at his setup Cockpit Vista. The course program includes half a day session on the simulator and two real flights from Bengaluru to another metro and back, which he calls the "Proving flights". Aftet the telecall with Wing Commander lasting about 45 minutes, I told myself "the man appears to be a domain expert and the course appears promising".
Given up on hope and settled with his new normal, my husband wouldn't take any course, definitely not a session on the simulator of an aeroplane that he dreads. Infact, after the traumatic flight in 2015, on my insistence, he has made two attempts to fly. The first one was for a family wedding in Italy, but he returned home from the aerobridge / gate after panic overcame him merely at the sight of our aeroplane on the tarmac. We had to proceed leaving him behind. He tried another flight by popping in extra dose of anxiety drugs, but couldn't enter the terminal. The return to home marked the end of the effort for this lifetime.
So, I took this initiative, a risky one. The immediate challenge was that the course was conducted in Bangalore (India), whereas we were in another end of the country. I had to wait for an opportune moment. Yet another challenge posed by Wing Commander himself – he conducts the course only after speaking to the Flight Anxious passenger. He remarked "Consent is most important. Also, unless the passenger has understood the course methodology and has the will to overcome the fear, the program doesn't work" He added "It is also a financial risk for you - for the proving flights (real flights between Bangalore and another city), you have to pre book return tickets, which are expensive these days in India. The ticket cost will go waste if the flight anxious passenger, your husband in this case, overrules his family's initiative and decides to skip the course" However, going by my extraordinary initiative to help him get over the hurdles of flying, Wing Commander Dinesh agreed to onboard us for the course – without taking my husband into confidence.
Recently my husband had travelled (by train) to Bangalore for work, I decided to take advantage of his presence there. He had two meetings spread apart by a week. Given his travel handicap, returning back home was not an option - to overcome the travel woes, he had opted to stay back outstation and work out of the hotel in the intervening days. Thankfully, there was a Holiday (Sunday) in between. Without my husband being aware, I fixed up a session on that sunday in consultation with Cockpit Vista. Even before I could request to be a part of the course, the Wing Commander, who conducts the program himself, was glad to allow me to join my husband for the course without any additional cost. Little did I know what he meant when he said "You are joining the course with a scientific purpose – an 'enabler' who will have a significant role in his success story". Sure enough, today I can say that each bit of his program was scientific, including my presence on the course!! I cannot believe that I bet on the program so much that I committed the fee for the course, additionally I booked three return tickets (Rs 45000) for all of us for the 'Proving Flight' between Bengaluru and Mumbai which was a prerequisite for booking the course.
The evening before the course, I surprised my husband by flying into Bengaluru. He was at ease, though hugely surprised by my adventurous appearance in Bengaluru. After settling in the hotel with him, well past the dinner, I announced the initiative I had taken and the course that I had booked for the next morning. As expected, he got angry. He out rightly refused to take the program. He saw it as reckless decision, in his wife taking such a risk with his life and cost of the course involved. I continued to assure him with the information Wing Commander had shared with me. In some time, he started reasoning with me, though extremely anxious and unsettled. That night he didn't sleep, He read through every word on the website of Cockpit Vista and saw all media coverages including videos pertaining to Cockpit Vista and the founder, the Wing Commander. By morning, he had softened his stand a bit and agreed to accompany me to location – though with a caveat. Apprehensive, yet overjoyed by his willingness to take the first step to meet the Commander, I sent Wing Commander the following message before boarding an Uber to Cockpit Vista location “he is only willing to come and talk to you today and says that he is not 100 percent ready to fly, lets see”. Wing Commander Dinesh responded normally - appeared as cool as a doctor attending to a road accident victim in the trauma care of an hospital!
We reached the Cockpit Vista location to find the Wing Commander there to receive us. Soon I realised that his is no normal business – it is about a personal touch towards building trust and rapport with the anxious guest as quickly as possible. The way he spoke in a friendly manner over the call, and now seeing him as a man with all the patience and calm, it was reassuring to be with him.
However, My husband, who had no connect so far with Wing Commander, had come with a definite plan with certain riders. Within a minute of arrival, my husband made his stand clear by saying “I have been forced, I will be very honest, I have told my wife that, out of respect for you and courtesy for my wife, I will show up, I am not in a state of mind at this point to do anything, I am extremely anxious since yesterday, I have to be upfront with you that the session will probably be more anxious for me than any flight. Pardon me if I don't fully cooperate, my apologies”
To begin with, Wing Commander made it clear to my husband that he can discount his wife's presence at the course / program and also not to seek the support that he would otherwise receive from her – essentially meant that he was in professional hands and let that be. His analogy by way of an example was apt – in the medicine world, the relatives of a patient turn over the patient to a doctor for surgery and remains so untill the patient is discharged. Wing Commander's announcement made my husband jittery initially, but it had the required scientific effect that the Commander was expecting.
You must hear the rest of the story from my husband's perspective – how his thoughts gradually kept changing, from extremely negative mindset to neutral views, and finally to positive thinking as the day progressed at Cockpit Vista, at the airport, on board the flight thereafter – and finally when he rediscovered the joy of flying. With him getting wings, it was the most joyous day of my life as well. My daughter couldnt hold her joys on hearing the news that her father resumed flying after what seemed like decades for the family.
We had reached at 8 AM, and we were ushered to a round of tea and snacks (which is a part of the icebreaking.... and the need of the hour). My husband took the Wing Commander through his life journey and narrated his last few flight experience (including the traumatic one). I could see my husband get comfortable with the Wing Commander - My husband would supplement his credentials with his aviation knowledge and how he has been minutely tracking each accident in aviation. He was shattered to be told that the reading and watching the crash investigation videos is the source of flight anxiety for 80 percent of cases. The analogy that the Wing Commander offered was impactful "Take the example of medical care - despite all the reading on google that we do, we cannot cure our disease. We cannot beat the knowledge, skill and experience that doctors gain at in their 6 year long structured MBBS program – after all the trials with self medication, eventually we have to go to them to get treated". He was making a big statement "Google knowledge is not really good - when you travel, you have to ignore your google based instinct and trust a professional (pilot and aviators) and leave it to them to see you safely through your flight"
The line of treatment at cockpit Vista is based on Exposure therapy, which he calls a game changer. We entered the aircraft simulator, it was awesome, just like a real cockpit. However, I sensed the discomfort and anger on the face of my husband. Unmoved by my husband's expressions, Wing Commander K Dinesh took the captain seat of the commercial jetliner. My husband was offered the hot seat of the co pilot, while I took the jump seat (additional seat in a cockpit). Over the next seven hours of the templated course content, I could see my husband getting comfortable in the cockpit. Wing Commander had briefed me how exposure to the fearful scenario works to fight the fears, I was glad that the course was progressing as briefed.
Wing Commander K Dinesh patiently took him through a systematic and well templated exposure to all aspects of aviation - flying, ATC, Airport operations, Maintenance and much more. He planned a special module on turbulence since my husband had a trauma of a turbulent flight. My husband had a hundred questions and they were patiently answered by the Commander. The most impactful part was that he would explain, demonstrate and let my husband do that activity with his own hand. I could see that exposure therapy was fool proof and was working for him. The course content was tailored to bridge all the knowledge gaps that can cause anxiety. My husband was gradually being turned into a virtual pilot for a reason. There was no scope for mistrust with aviation any more! Many scientific concepts were at work to make the required change in the flight anxious passenger. It is not possible to explain in words the magic the seven hours of the cockpit session that I wittnessed.
Are you still wondering what was my role in the program? I got the answer mid way through the course. On the initial telecall, I remember Wing Commander asking me "assuming your husband starts flying, who would be flying more often with him?" I didn't have an answer to that hypothetical question because he had not flown in the last seven years and there was nothing on the horizon. His question raised an instant desire and wished that we could fly together as a family some day and go globe trotting. He wanted an answer - I instantly said that I will be with him more often. I was invited to attend the course. Later he explained "Exposure Therapy is all about keeping you connected with the aviation environment that you are in while on a flight. This requires recalling aviation related information and practicing virtual piloting and many more activities that the anxiety traveller learns at the course. Because of the state of mind of a anxious passenger, the course uptake of a fearful flyer is less - anywhere between 30 to 50 percent of the delivered content. Added to this, with time such person's memory recall will gradually decrease. An 'Enabler' like you is in a normal state of mind and your uptake is usually around 80 percent. Since you have come with a specific mission to help your dear ones, the uptake can reach 100 percent. Your memory recall is usually high. All this is not an issue till the proving flight where I am available. Your uptake and memory recall is useful for hand holding on subsequent flights required for confidence buliding before the anxiety guest is set to fly independently"
The course is a mix of human psychology interlaced with aviation. Wing Commander Dinesh would demonstrate activities on simulator and often end with a templated statement "We will experience this activity again on the real flight that we will take this afternoon" My husband would neither say a yes nor a no!! My husband is a marketing consultant and extremely skilled at managing people – I thought he meant a "no" and feared that he will disclose his cards at the end. As we were approaching the end of the simulator session, I was completely tense. Would he agree to fly on real flights that have pre booked? As we were leaving the Simulator, Wing Commander Dinesh told my husband that we would have a lunch bite in his complex and proceed to the airport in the next half an hour. I was relived when my husband didn't object. The cab arrived and he moved with us to the airport without any fuss, though a bit tense. This was a visibly a mega change from the stand that he maintained for the last seven years. Wing Commander quipped to me "wait and see, he will fly"
We reached the airport and my husband voluntarily and normally went through the procedure for entering into the terminal building. Wing Commander had a templated course delivery at the airport too, he was speaking to us continuously. It was more about familiarising with airport facilities and processes. We realised that there is so much more to know about things and activities at the airport. He says "any amount of time is less to understand the complex activities of an airport. That is good news from anxiety point of view. From the time we step out of the cab, and enter the terminal, there is so much to see, understand and think that there is no time for negative thoughts to built up and trigger the anxiety beyond the threshold".
Wing Commander had earlier explained to me "there are three mental barrier points – booking a ticket, entering the terminal and entering the aeroplane. Anxiety need to be controlled at these three points for a successful outcome" Courtesy the course so far, my husband had successfully crossed the first two barriers with us. I was delighted that he was able to enter an airport terminal after seven long years.
I was still apprehensive as to how he will react at the gate. Wing commander had earlier said "the view of the air side from the boarding gate causes most of the anxiety. This includes the sight of takeoffs and landings and the slow moving aeroplanes on the tarmac. As we reached the gate, Wing Commander took us to the glass facade and made him see aeroplanes and Ground operations. He repeated all that he had demonstrated on the simulator. I was astounded that my husband was cool and receptive. When my husband left for the washroom before the flight boarding time, Wing Commander explained that the hour long viewing of the air side was deliberate and part of the exposure Therapy – the more you see a processes that were demonstrated on the simulator, better it is for calming the mind. Strange but true, it worked exactly that way! He briefed me the progress so far and his assessment that my husband will not only board the flight but also take the flight normally. I was happy when he boarded the flight – almost like an obedient school boy!
We had booked three seats together on the Airbus 320 flight of Indigo. Wing Commander Dinesh had a plan there too, he had my husband seated on the window side and took the middle seat. I was given the aisle seat to keep me out of sight and mentally away from him! Wing Commander explained all the sound, motion and all the activities that were happening on board. Most interesting was the virtual piloting that my husband was calmly performing. Commander had briefed that this being the monsoon season, we will face turbulence. He poked my husband saying " Turbulence cannot be wished away, it has to be endured. I wish there is lot of turbulence today". That statement was very much a part of Exposure Therapy. My husband had cookies, a sign that he was comfortable with the flight. He went through all phases of flight with very little discomfort.
We landed in Mumbai. We were overwhelmed with joy. The program works! We could see the sense of achievement on the face of my husband, We were still assimilating the grand outcome, when I noted another welcome change - my husband was looking forward to the return flight!
We went to the gate in the same terminal. On the way, the Commander explained "the first of the two flights is to sort out the anxiety feelings, the journey of return flight will be smooth". That was completely true. He was far more comfortable at the boarding gate as well as onboard the flight. This time we had booked on another airlines (Akasa) on a brand new Boeing 737 Max. The return was deliberately planned as a night flight. Commander wanted us to expose to as many new scenarios as possible.
He boarded the flight without any issues. He took the window seat, this time I was made to sit next to him as if we were travelling alone without Wing Commander's support. We had turbulence, yet the flight went off smoothly as anticipated. We landed and moved to the terminal – I must say that I was overwhelmed by the joyful outcome and wiping my tears of joy!
May I say, all of us are super delighted that my husband has got back the wings to fly. Looking back, it seemed like an impossible task. We shall remain ever grateful to Wing Commander K Dinesh for the noble task that he does. It means a lot to us, much more that what words can express.
We are glad to inform that after the course, he has taken few more flights with us. It is a pleasure to be flying as a family for leisure. My husband was overjoyed to break the news to the company he works for. The company celebrated the return to flying.
Before saying good bye to him at the airport, I couldn't stop asking him if there was a magic in his program. He said "Fear of flying course is a super specialised domain requiring few skills – Fear is a subject of human psychology after all. A flight anxious person has tremendous trust deficit. But once he / she trusts someone, it is absolute and final. For a successful outcome of Fear of Flying course, you must be trustworthy. Trust must be built in the first one hour. Sounds doable, but it is not easy to gain trust in the shortest time and move ahead with the course. To gain the anxiety persons trust, you need to wear different hats, all of it at the same time – The flight anxious person sees you as a pilot, engineer, Air traffic Controller, a weatherman, a luggage loader, a gate agent, the Security agency, and the airport operator ... to name a few. You have to live up to his expectation. You must be thorough with the subject of Aviation Psychology and understand human Psysiology. You must be able to identify clinical cases from the others, for that you must clearly know the line drawn between the domain of a doctor / an aviation medicine specialist and the other fields as stated above. As evident, on a Fear of Flying course you can't keep adding instructors for each vertical of aviation or medicine – it is neither practical nor commercially viable. I am grateful to the Indian Air Force for my varied exposure and appointments in all domains of Aviation and applied Psychology, which makes me one of the handful experts in this domain worldwide. Finally, conducting this course is not everyone's cup of tea – it needs empathy and lot of patience in dealing with a Fearful flyer, not to forget that you will need to speak continuously for 12 hours – unlike a classroom there is no break for the instructor!!" I agree completely.
Updates : Since we attended the program with Cockpit Vista, my husband has flow five flights in a matter of 15 days. As required by Wing Commander, all of them are monsoon flights. Here is what my husband texted on whatsapp to him -
[19/07, 19:06] CVC920100 : Landed. About 30 mins ago. The flight was late. Cloudy throughout. Mid turbulence into Mumbai as it’s raining heavily here. But I managed.
[23/07, 11:56] CVC920100 : Landed. Today’s flight was also bumpy due to weather conditions in Mumbai as we as on approach into Bangalore. The FO asked the crew to be seated a couple of times. Thick white clouds at 3 levels up to the cruising altitude of FL270. He had the spoilers up for quite sometime during the decent. The landing was pretty hard. 27L. So long taxi. All in all turned alright…. In one piece.
[25/07, 19:36] CVC920100 : Good evening. Landed a few mins ago in Mumbai. It’s monsoon at its peak. We were in a holding pattern for almost 45 mins - 110 km off Mumbai as it’s raining very heavily here. Visibility was very poor till a minute or so before touchdown. I thought the pilots did a great job. Landing was smooth. But came in too high I thought, landed much beyond the threshold and suddenly applied brakes, reversers and spoilers. The water spray was so bad that couldn’t see anything outside the window. He took the last exit at the end of Rnwy 27. To my amazement, other planes still kept landing and taking off as we were taxiing and then in the bus. It was as if they didn’t care about the weather. The longest flight so far and definitely the most exciting
And here are my updates to Wing Commander -
[15/07, 23:10] CVC920200 : A big big thank you for taking us through a mesmerising world of aviation.
[17/07, 14:35] CVC920200 : He felt really nice and I guess much relieved.
[17/07, 14:35] CVC920200 : We look forward to doing a couple of flights.
[23/07, 14:48] CVC920200 : Flight was good.
[23/07, 14:48] CVC920200 : He did well.
[23/07, 17:36] CVC920200 : Thanks for all your help.
[25/07, 19:36] CVC920200 : Just landed back to mumbai. The flight was delayed and also landed late due to bad weather in mumbai. Overall he did good in these flights
This is what he wrote back to us -
[25/07, 20:19] Cockpit Vista (K Dinesh): Good to hear this detailed account of you flight. Glad that you did so well despite all odds of monsoon. Keep the spirit high and fly regularly. Now on, you are a normal flier by all means.
[25/07, 20:27] CVC920100 : Thanks to you
(We appreciate your patronage. Kindly fill this CONTACT FORM if you have any questions to Cockpit Vista / Wing Commander K Dinesh or you wish to make specific comment. We will revert soon)
Page updated 27 July 2023
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Updated 3 JULY 24 : Congratulations on your first flight after 30 years of stopping flying due to a turbulence trauma!! Our Fear of Flying program participant, CVC916200 writes his experience with the program with Cockpit Vista last week. How did he do it?