Inspirational Testimonial

My husband stopped flying seven years back after a traumatic flight in year 2015. The domestic flight between Bengaluru (India) to Mumbai (India) during the monsoon was turbulent all through, but not a severe one. Somehow, multiple fears, led by fear of turbulence crept in and he was helpless.  Earlier, he was a jetsetter moving between continents and travelled 30 countries. He studied in US and did many shuttles to India.  

He is very passionate about aviation, he has a huge collection of scaled models of aeroplane, yet he dreads flying now. I can't believe that one such incident can so drastically change the course of his life (and that of our family too).
 

Needless to say that he was in a management position. But, shaken by the trauma, he left the rewarding job and sat at home for over six months - depressed. The family was in turmoil. After going through treatment for depression, he settled with a job that needed only short distance domestic travel – which he managed on trains. 

Meanwhile he did try to get help from Psychiatrist and multiple psychologist and counsellors, but they were not effective in case of flight phobia. He gave up hopes after none of them worked to help him gather courage to attempt a flight. He thought he had tried all available options, and concluded that there was no effective treatment for Fear of Flying.   

It was depressive for him, but life turned hopeless for me too and my daughter who is turning teenager – the family hit a road end as regards our personal, social and leisure travel. My husband was a person of higher caliber, he had to settle for much lesser – he was at the lowest of his self esteem. He saw life as seven years already spent in  despair and many more hopeless decades ahead. 

Worried for him, I started searching for solutions to help him get over his flight anxiety. I contacted Cockpit Vista (www.cockpitvista.com) in Bengaluru (India) to learn that my husband has not yet tried  the most effective option of treatment – a day long program of Exposure Therapy on an aircraft Simulator offered by Wing Commander K Dinesh at his setup Cockpit Vista. The course program includes half a day session on the simulator and two real flights from Bengaluru to another metro and back, which he calls the "Proving flights". After the telecall with Wing Commander lasting about 45 minutes, I told myself "the man appears to be a domain expert and the course appears promising".   
 

Given up on hope and settled with his new normal, my husband wouldn't take any course, definitely not a aviation course or a session on the simulator of an aeroplane that he dreads. Infact, after the traumatic flight in 2015, on my insistence, he has made two attempts to fly. The first one was for a family wedding in Italy, but he returned home from the aerobridge / gate after panic stuck him merely at the sight of our aeroplane on the tarmac. We had to proceed for the trip leaving him behind. He tried another flight by popping in extra dose of anxiety drugs, but this time it was worse - he couldn't enter the terminal.  The return to home marked the end of his effort for this lifetime.   

So, I took this bold initiative to get husband to take this course by Wing Commander Dinesh. There was a risk too - I couldn't have forced him to go through what he considers an ordeal, lest he takes extreme steps. 

The immediate challenge was that the course was conducted in Bangalore (India), whereas we were in another end of the country. I had to wait for an opportune moment. Yet another challenge posed by Wing Commander himself – he conducts the course only after speaking to the flight anxious passenger. During the initial consultation call, he remarked "Consent is most important. Also, unless the passenger has understood the course methodology and has the will to overcome the fear, the program doesn't work effectively."  

He was quick to add "It is also a financial risk for you -  you have to pre book return tickets for the proving flights (real flights between Bangalore and another city), which are expensive these days in India. The ticket cost will go waste if the flight anxious passenger, your husband in this case, overrules his family's initiative and decides to skip the course." 

However, going by my extraordinary initiative to help him get over the hurdles of flying, Wing Commander Dinesh agreed to onboard us for the course – without taking my husband into confidence.   

I didn't have to wait too long for the opportune moment. Recently my husband had travelled (by train) to Bangalore for work, I decided to take advantage of his presence there. He had two meetings spread apart by a week. Given his travel handicap, returning back home was not an option - to overcome the travel woes, he had opted to stay back outstation and work from the hotel in the intervening days. Thankfully, there was a Holiday (Sunday) in between. 

Without my husband being asked or told, I fixed up a session on that Sunday in consultation with Wing Commander K Dinesh. Even before I could request to join him at the course, the Wing Commander, who conducts the program himself, was glad to allow me to join my husband for the course without any additional cost. Little did I know that I was not only welcome but I was required there. This became clear when he said "You are joining the course with a scientific purpose – for him, you are an 'enabler' , you  will have  a significant role in his success story". Sure enough, today I can say that each bit of his program was scientific, including my presence on the course!! 

I cannot believe that I bet on the program so much that I committed the fee for the course, additionally I booked three return tickets (Rs 45000) for all of us for the 'Proving Flight' between  Bengaluru and Mumbai which was a prerequisite for booking the course.  

 
The evening before the course, I surprised my husband by flying into Bengaluru. Indeed, he was  hugely surprised by my adventurous appearance in Bengaluru - he thought I was there to seize the opportunity for a Bangalore vacation. After settling in the hotel with him, well past the dinner, I announced to him the initiative I had taken and the course that I had booked for the next morning. 

As expected, he got angry. He was not willing to listen. He out rightly refused to take the program. He saw it as reckless decision,  in his wife taking such a risk with his life. I continued to assure him his wellbeing and gave him snipets of the information Wing Commander had shared with me. In some time, he started reasoning with me, though extremely anxious and unsettled.  I was grateful that he was talking to me. 

That night he didn't sleep, he read through every word on the website of Cockpit Vista and saw all media coverages including videos pertaining to Cockpit Vista and the founder Wing Commander. I wasn't sleeping, I could see him getting comfortable with the website content. There was a chance that he would listen to me. 

By morning, he had softened his stand a bit and agreed to accompany me to the course location – though with a caveat. Apprehensive, yet overjoyed by his willingness to take the first step to meet the Commander,  I sent Wing Commander the following message before boarding an Uber to Cockpit Vista location “he is only willing to come and talk to you today and says that he is not 100 percent ready to fly, lets see”. Wing Commander Dinesh responded normally - appeared as cool as a doctor attending to a road  accident trauma victim in a hospital!   
 
 

We reached the Cockpit Vista location to find the Wing Commander there to receive us. Soon I realised that his is no normal business – it begins with a personal touch towards building trust and rapport with the anxious guest as quickly as possible. The way he spoke in a friendly manner over the call, and now seeing him in person as a man with all the patience and calm, it was reassuring to be with him. 

However, My husband, who had no connect so far with Wing Commander, had come with a definite plan and specific riders. Within a minute of arrival, my husband made his stand clear by saying “I have been forced, I will be very honest, I have told my wife that, out of respect for you and courtesy for my wife, I will show up, I am not in a state of mind at this point to do anything, I am extremely anxious since yesterday, I have to be upfront with you that the session will probably be more anxious  for me than any flight. Pardon me if I don't fully cooperate, my apologies” 

I was feeling a bit awkward with my husband's disclosures, as the Commander had specifically mentioned that he takes willing clients only, yet taken him on the course on my insistence. Strangely, I didn't see any such expressions on the Commander's face.  He fully agreed with husband's statements and  smiled. 

To begin with, Wing Commander made it clear to my husband that he can discount his wife's presence at the course / program and also not to seek the support that he would otherwise receive from her – essentially meant that he was in professional hands and let that be.  His analogy by way of an example was apt – in the medicine world, the relatives of a patient turn over the patient to a doctor for surgery and remains so untill the patient is brought back to the ward /discharged.  Wing Commander's announcement made my husband jittery initially, but it had the required scientific effect that the Commander was targeting.

You must hear the rest of the story from my husband's perspective – In a matter of twelve hours,  how his thoughts gradually kept changing, from extremely negative mindset to neutral views, and finally to positive thinking as the day progressed. What began as a simulator session  at Cockpit Vista,  made way for him to accompany Commander to the Bangalore International airport, and to board the flight thereafter – and finally when he rediscovered the joy of flying after landing in Mumbai. He was overjoyed that he got back his wings, but it was the most joyous day of my life as well. My daughter who was at home, couldn't hold her joys on hearing the news that her father resumed flying after what seemed like decades for the family. 

The course is unique in many ways. We had reached at 8 AM, and we were ushered to a round of tea and snacks. As a part of the planned icebreaking (.... and the need of the hour),  Commnader  encouraged my husband to take him through his life journey, my husband narrated his last few flight experience (including the traumatic one). I could see my husband get comfortable with the Wing Commander, especially when  my husband would supplement his credentials with his boastful  aviation knowledge and how he has been minutely tracking each accident in aviation. He was shattered to be told that the reading on google and watching the crash investigation videos is the source of flight anxiety for 80 percent of cases that he has cured. The analogy that the Wing Commander offered was impactful  "Take the example of medical care - despite all the reading on google that we do, we cannot cure the diseases ourselves, we have to meet a doctor. Google cannot beat the knowledge, skill and experience that doctors gain in their 6 year long structured MBBS program. The fact is that after all the trials with self medication that we do, eventually we have to go to the doctor to get treated". He was making a big statement "Google knowledge is not really good". He said "when you travel, you have to ignore your google based instinct and trust a professional (pilot and aviators) and leave it to them to see you safely through your flight" 

The line of treatment at Cockpit Vista is based on "Exposure Therapy", which Commander calls a game changer.  I had heard about Exposure Therapy first time from him, I had no evidence how it works until we were exposed to it in a sequence of activities through  the day. 

We entered the aircraft simulator, it was awesome, just like a real cockpit. However, I sensed the discomfort and anger on the face of my husband. Unmoved by my husband's expressions, Wing Commander K Dinesh took the captain seat of the commercial jetliner. My husband was offered the hot seat of the co pilot, while I took the jump seat (additional seat in a cockpit). Over the next seven hours of the templated course content, I could see my husband getting comfortable in the cockpit. I was recalling Wing Commander's  briefing how exposure to the fearful scenario works to fight the fears, I was glad that the course was progressing as briefed.   

Wing Commander K Dinesh patiently took him through a systematic and well templated exposure to all aspects of aviation - flying, ATC, airport operations, maintenance and much more. He planned a extensive module on turbulence since my husband had a trauma of a turbulent flight. My husband asked the Commander, what looked like few hundred questions!!  and they were patiently answered by the Commander. The most impactful part was that he would explain, demonstrate and let my husband do that activity with his own hand. I could see that exposure therapy was fool proof and was working for him. The course content was tailored to bridge all the knowledge gaps that can cause anxiety. My husband was gradually being turned into a virtual pilot for a reason. There was no scope for mistrust with aviation any more! Evidently, many scientific concepts were parallely at work to make the required change in the flight anxious passenger's outlook. It is not possible to explain in words the magic of the seven hours of the cockpit  session that I wittnessed.    

Are you still wondering what was my role in the program? Wing Commander had said that I was his "Enabler" but that didn't make much sense initially. I got the answer mid way through the course. On the initial telecall,  I remember Wing Commander asking me "assuming your husband starts flying, who would be flying more often with him?" I didn't have an answer to that hypothetical question because he had not flown in the last seven years and there was nothing on the horizon. His question raised an instant  desire and I wished that we could fly together as a family some day and go globe trotting. Commander wanted an answer -  I instantly said with a sense of possessiveness, that I will be flying with him more often.  I was invited to attend the course. 

As  the simulator session progressed, I was able to connect with his explanation about the role of an 'Enabler'. He had explained earlier "Exposure Therapy is all about keeping you connected with the aviation environment that you are in while on a flight. This requires recalling aviation related information and practicing virtual piloting and many more activities that the anxiety traveller learns at the course. Because of the state of mind of a anxious passenger, the course uptake of a fearful flyer is less - anywhere between 30 to 50 percent of the delivered content. Added to this, with time a flight anxious person's memory recall will gradually decrease. An 'Enabler' like you, a happy flyer in most cases, is in a normal state of mind and your uptake is usually around 80 percent. Since you have come with a specific mission to help your dear ones, the uptake can reach 100 percent. Your memory recall is usually high. All this is not an issue untill the proving flight where I am available with him. Your uptake and memory recall is useful for hand holding on subsequent flights required for confidence building before the anxiety guest is set to fly independently" 

The course is a balanced mix of human psychology interlaced with aviation. Wing Commander Dinesh would demonstrate activities on simulator and often end with a templated statement "We will experience this activity again on the real flight, that we will take this afternoon" He would lay a lot of emphasis on the second part of the statement.  My husband would neither say a yes nor a no!! My husband is a marketing consultant and extremely skilled at managing people – I thought that my husband meant a "no" and feared that he will disclose his cards at the end when we have to leave for the airport. 

As we were approaching the end of  the simulator session, I was completely tense. Would he agree to fly on real flights that have pre booked?   As we were ending the Simulator session, Wing Commander Dinesh told my husband that we would have a lunch bite in his complex and proceed to the airport in the next half an hour.  I was relived when my husband didn't  object.

 The cab arrived and he moved with us to the airport without any fuss, though a bit tense. This was  visibly a mega change from the stand that he maintained for the last seven years - and as late as the  morning he came for the course. Wing Commander quipped to me "wait and see, he will fly" 

We  reached the airport and my husband followed Commander through the procedure for entering into the terminal building. Wing Commander had a templated course delivery at the airport too, he was speaking to us continuously. It was more about familiarising with airport facilities and processes. We realised that there is so much more to know about things and activities at the airport. He says "any amount of time is less to understand the complex activities of an airport. That is good news from anxiety point of view. From the time we step out of the cab, and enter the terminal, there is so much to see, understand and think that  there is no time for negative thoughts to built up and trigger the anxiety beyond the threshold".   

Wing Commander had earlier explained to me "there are three mental barrier points, which we call the Go/NoGo gates  – booking a ticket, entering the terminal and entering the aeroplane. Anxiety need to be controlled at these three points for a successful outcome". Courtesy the course so far, my husband  had successfully crossed the first two barriers with us. I was delighted that he was able to enter an airport terminal after seven long years.    
 

I was still apprehensive as to how he will react at the gate. Wing Commander had earlier said "the view of the air side activities from the terminal glass facade causes most of the anxiety. This includes the sight of takeoffs and landings and the slow moving aeroplanes on the tarmac. The memories of few years back came up when he had returned from the gate letting go his flight to Italy.

As we reached the gate, Wing Commander took us to the glass facade and made him see aeroplanes and Ground operations. He repeated all that he had demonstrated on the simulator. I was astounded that my husband  was cool and receptive.   When my husband left for the washroom before the flight boarding time, Wing Commander explained that the hour long viewing of the air side was deliberate and part of the Exposure Therapy – the more you see a processes that were demonstrated on the simulator, better it is for calming the mind. Strange but true, it worked exactly that way! He briefed me the progress so far and his assessment that my husband will not only board the flight but also take the flight normally.  I was happy when he boarded the flight – almost like an obedient school boy!   

 We had booked three seats together on the Airbus 320 flight of Indigo.  Wing Commander Dinesh had a tactically planned his activities there too,  he had my husband seated on the window side and took the middle seat. I was given the aisle seat to keep me out of sight and mentally away from him!  

Wing Commander explained all the sound, motion and all the activities that were happening on board. Most interesting was the virtual piloting that my husband was calmly performing. Commander had briefed that this being the monsoon season, we will face turbulence. He poked my husband saying " Turbulence cannot be wished away, it has to be endured. I wish there is lot of turbulence today". That statement was very much a part of Exposure Therapy. My husband had cookies, a sign that he was comfortable with the flight. He went through all phases of flight with very little discomfort. 

We landed in Mumbai aroud 6 PM. We were overwhelmed with joy. The program works! We could see the sense of achievement on the face of my husband, We were still assimilating the grand outcome, when I noted another welcome change - my husband was looking forward to the return  flight!   

Our return flight was in a gap of 2 hours. We went to the gate in the same terminal. On the way, the Commander explained "the first of the two flights is to sort out the anxiety feelings, the journey of return flight will be smooth". That was completely true. He was far more comfortable at the boarding gate as well as onboard the return flight. This time we had booked on another airlines (Akasa) on a brand new Boeing 737 Max. The return was deliberately planned as a night flight on a MAX that was dreaded for the two recent crashes.  Commander wanted us to expose to as many new scenarios as possible.   He said "Fear of Flying Course is more about getting you to move away from being selective and accept every other scenario as safe" 

He boarded the flight without any issues. He took the window seat, this time I was made to sit next to him as if we were travelling alone without Wing Commander's support. We had turbulence, yet the for him the flight went off smoothly as anticipated. 

We landed and moved to the terminal – I must say that I was overwhelmed by the joyful outcome and wiping my tears of joy! We were looking for words to thank him. He was not looking for those words, speaks volumes about his humility. 

May I say, all of us are super delighted that my husband has got back the wings to fly. Looking back, it seemed like an impossible task. We shall remain ever grateful to Wing Commander K Dinesh for the noble task that he does. It means a lot to us, much more that what words can express.   

While feeling happy on the personal front, my husband was waiting to break the news to his company

Before saying good bye to him at the airport, , I couldn't stop asking him if there was a magic in  his program. He said "Fear of flying course is a super specialised domain requiring few skills – Fear is a subject of human psychology after all. A flight anxious person has tremendous trust deficit. But once he / she trusts someone, it is absolute and final. For a successful outcome of Fear of Flying course, you must be trustworthy. Trust must be built in the first one hour. Sounds doable, but it is not easy to gain trust in the shortest time and move ahead with the course". He continues "To gain the anxiety person's trust, you need to wear different hats, all of it at the same time – you may be a pilot, but the flight anxious person sees you as more than that, he sees you as an expert in all domains like pilot, engineer, Air traffic Controller, a weatherman, a luggage loader, a gate agent, the Security agency, and the airport operator ... to name a few. You have to live up to his expectation". He adds "It is not simple, you must be thorough with the subject of Aviation Psychology and understand human Physiology. You must be able to identify clinical cases from the others, for that you must clearly know the line drawn between the domain of a doctor  / an aviation medicine specialist and the other fields as stated above". He says that there is another challenge "As  evident, on a Fear of Flying course, it has to  be one instructor, it makes trust exercise simpler than trying to gain trust of many teachers. Also, you can't keep adding instructors for each vertical of aviation or medicine – it is neither practical nor commercially viable." Finally he says "conducting this course is not everyone's cup of tea – it needs empathy and lot of patience in dealing with a Fearful flyer, not to forget that you will need to speak continuously for 12 hours – unlike a classroom there is no break for the instructor!!"  I agreed completely with all his points. 

He closes his part by adding "I  am grateful to the Indian Air Force for my varied  exposure and appointments in various domains of Aviation and applied Psychology, which makes me one of the handful experts in this domain worldwide. A stint as Air Crash Investigator gave a wider understanding from civil aviation perspective".

We had coffee at Bangalore arrival. My husband took Commander's mobile number to connect with him directly. I was in touch with Commander for some time to give him discrete inputs of post course progress, but soon my husband took over, now my husband consults and updates him with outcomes of each flight he takes.  That brings me to an important aspect of his program which stands out from the programs worldwide. For those who have done a course with him, he provides mentorship and guidance  as long as we require. He says, he is on a mission "Everyone will fly". We expressed our willingness to help his mission by putting up this testimonial. 

Update by Cockpit Vista We are glad to inform that after the course, he has taken 50 flights in a period of less than one year. He has done International flights, including first ever family vacation since he stopped flying eight years back. He was overjoyed to break the news to the company he works for. The company celebrated  his return to flying.  Now he flies worldwide for office work too.